August 2^nd, 2016. Midnight.

 Sitting on my bed, at my old room. Listening to music, laptop on my lap, phone next to me with its LED light going on and off. But I’m ignoring it. Staring out my window.

You see, I don’t live here anymore. Everything has changed but yet, at the same time, nothing has. Still sitting here, still over-thinking, still can’t sleep, still crying.  As I did last year, and the year before that.

By this point, I’m sure something is not right about me. And it’s only getting worse. There hasn’t been a day, there hasn’t been a minute that I don’t think about my look, my body, my insecurities, how bad I’m doing with university, how I get anxious about everything. I don’t answer calls anymore, only texts. It’s August and I haven’t gone to the beach not even once. Damn it, I haven’t even left my house, unless it was necessary. Yes, this year it got worse. I was so hoping it would all be gone. But no.

A song in a language I don’t understand is playing. I don’t mind. It sounds nice.

12:49 am. I don’t know why I decided to write all these down. Maybe I will do it again. Maybe I even post them on a blog or something. Maybe not.

A John Mayer ft Katy Perry song is on. I didn’t know they had collaborated. Cool.

12:55am.

Good night. 
x.