5th of November, 2019.
3 months since my last post here. I don't really know what made me want to write this post. Things are not really like the last post. I don't know, it is kind of weird. I logged in and I read my last post and I have this..feeling, The feelings in it were the..normality. I knew what I was feeling, it might were some terrible feelings but at the least I knew. Now? Now, I don't know. And to be honest I'm afraid of the new feelings. I don't know how to feel different.
Things are better in comparison the last few months. I don't want to start dreaming and saying that things are good now. I'm always waiting for the bad thing to come, like they waiting for me in the corner. I still get my bad days and I still get anxious, for the future mostly and my insecurities will never leave, but at the least it's not like the hell I went through.
Therapy is also coming to an end after 9 months...social anxiety is much better now but like my therapist said, one day I should also start a new ''circle'' of sessions with someone for my other issues..Also, I'm graduating in 4 months...my feelings are bittersweet and I'm also very anxious for what's next..I don't want to move out of this town, it breaks my heart but I need to accept it.
Things are weird. I don't know if I'm ''healed'' and I now can handle things, or I just ignore them. Was staying away from people helped or not? I don't know. Maybe yes, but I feel bad about it.
I feel bad for the girl of last post. Things are weird..and a lot. I don't know what will happen. I'm afraid of relapsing. But for now, I'm out of hell.
3 months since my last post here. I don't really know what made me want to write this post. Things are not really like the last post. I don't know, it is kind of weird. I logged in and I read my last post and I have this..feeling, The feelings in it were the..normality. I knew what I was feeling, it might were some terrible feelings but at the least I knew. Now? Now, I don't know. And to be honest I'm afraid of the new feelings. I don't know how to feel different.
Things are better in comparison the last few months. I don't want to start dreaming and saying that things are good now. I'm always waiting for the bad thing to come, like they waiting for me in the corner. I still get my bad days and I still get anxious, for the future mostly and my insecurities will never leave, but at the least it's not like the hell I went through.
Therapy is also coming to an end after 9 months...social anxiety is much better now but like my therapist said, one day I should also start a new ''circle'' of sessions with someone for my other issues..Also, I'm graduating in 4 months...my feelings are bittersweet and I'm also very anxious for what's next..I don't want to move out of this town, it breaks my heart but I need to accept it.
Things are weird. I don't know if I'm ''healed'' and I now can handle things, or I just ignore them. Was staying away from people helped or not? I don't know. Maybe yes, but I feel bad about it.
I feel bad for the girl of last post. Things are weird..and a lot. I don't know what will happen. I'm afraid of relapsing. But for now, I'm out of hell.
