February 5th, 24:00

Movies. We all like movies. But why?

For me movies are an escape. I can, for 2 hours, forget everything and just enjoy a story. The movie can either make you feel good or sometimes bad, cause you get caught up in the story, or you just sit there and start thinking why can't stuff like that happen to you, especially if it's a romantic movie and on the credits you read ''based on a true story''.

Isn't it fascinating how they come up with such stories? I mean, think about your favorite movie right now. How did they come up with that? And yes, even when it's based on books. Authors are such creative people. Even more, actors and actresses, They can act that good that they can touch your soul.

I love these kind of films that just leaves you on your seat for a while. Those kind of films that you can't stop thinking about them for a day or two.

Movies can make you laugh, cry, scare you. They can make you change the way you think on some matters, they pass a message. They can even bring people together!

Whatever kind of film it is, whatever kind you like, we all enjoy a good movie.


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February 4th 2017, 22:40

If somebody asked me what I want in life, I would probably say: not to deal with stuff and people. 

Let me explain what I mean. I am tired of feeling bad for the choices I have made. I don't want to come up with excuses and lies so I can avoid something and then feel bad about it. I want to just say straight ahead what I want to say and people to understand. 

I get angry but I never show. Angry with people, angry with myself. I don't want to deal with people cause I guess, I don't wanna know their reaction or mostly because I have no idea how to explain myself (reason why I prefer texting than calling, more time to think what to say). 

When I travelled abroad on summer it was the best week of my entire 20 years of life. Why? Because for a full week I didn't have to deal with stuff and people. Everyone was so far, I couldn't take calls or make plans or even didn't have time to think. 

I know that people can leave out of your life. I don't want that. And that's why I feel bad I suppose. Excuses over excuses, cancellations over cancellations will make people not wanting to be around you anymore. I think I make people sad or angry or fed up with my stuff. Maybe though, everything is just in my head and I make myself think different. But when do you realize that? When you have hit rock bottom? 

Maybe I feel this way not because of people but because of me. Because I don't undestand. Because it doesn't seem to go away. Because when all you want to do is to crawl up in a ball to someone and cry but at the same time you don't. Hundreads of times I have wished I would just vanished, or never existed. Not dead, cause death makes people sad (they have enough problems), just never existed. 

I don't even feel comfortable posting all these, probably because it's the truth. Probably because I don't want people to know. Probably because I don't want to deal with this.

If somebody asked me what I want in life, I would probably say: clean mind. 

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