January 19th 2018, 10:30pm
Music: BTS- Sea*.
Goals. We all have them. Are they ours though? Or somebody else's? If they are not, the best thing to do is to do what we really want. We don't live to satisfy others. But what happens when they are ours, or when there is no alternative? What happens when we don't even know and circumstances press us?
We try our best but we keep failing. Why? Did we try hard enough? Did we really did our best? Sometimes, we know we didn't. But, this is what we want. We desperately want to achieve this goal of ours. So why are we stuck?
We envy. We envy, in a good way, those who can focus to their goals and just..do it! While we have been trying and failing and trying again and failing again. For years. Then this moment comes that we do well, really well. The desert becomes the sea. We finally believe that we can do this, that we have found what it takes. Everything for once goes as we want to.
But the sea can dissapear as fast as the wave kisses the shore and leaves. It takes a moment. A new failure and we are back to how we used to be. The question, if we are still chased by a sandstorm, was always there, in the back of our head, we have just been hoping and praying and wishing that the desert would remain a beach.
As we are walking through the sandstorm, barely able to see around us, the sand blinding us, hiting our bodies, feeling like a thousand of whips, we want to quit. We desperately want to quit, to let the sand bury us, to stop moving against it, lay down and close our eyes. But we can not. Firstly, because we don't have an option, or we think that we don't, or because we are scared and confused; we want this after all. Secondly, it is not only us. People are expecting from us to achieve this. People that are important to us, that helped us, that sacrifice so much every day just for us to have this opportunity. We can not let them down. And time, time keeps pressuring us. Graduation after graduation and all just to find a job. A job that might has nothing to do with our degree. And all that as fast as you can, because for how long are we gonna depend on other people? Because, we are considered to be failures or lazzy that we can't graduate on time. And any other goal of ours, any field related, we can not quit. We want this after all, if we didn't we wouldn't call it quiting, we would call it a change and it would feel nice.
So we keep walking, waiting for the sea. Wating to feel refreshed again, hoping it will last forever. Trying really hard to make it last forever. But, honestly, the sea, the desert, the beach, all are the same world. A sea used to be a desert, a desert used to be a sea and the beach is there to remind us of that.
Keep walking, keep swimming, until you reach the beach. Then you can rest, for just a little while. Remember, the weather is unpredictable.
*This song talks about how nobody believed in them, but they achieved great things. Despite their success, they never rest, they aim for more and new goals, even though they know they have to work very hard for them.
